[too close for comfort]

haha yet another of my time wasting efforts, u would say. but i guess i find some peace from voicing out my ideas here.

had a somewhat scary experience last night online. dunno, i'm just not used to girls talking too sweetly to me. and coming from a stranger, somewhat, it felt kinda scary. natural defensive mechanisms activated, i tried to get away.

its like that nightmare that's happened to me at least twice. i just keep walking through a crowd of blank faces and then suddenly there's this guy whom i've never met before, who's so happy so see me that he's like jumping and smiling and he comes and hugs me and i push him away. and he keeps trying to hug me. eventually i start running from him, his smile trailing me mercilessly.

hmmm, i guess i'm somewhat, unresolved.

another related relevation i made on the bus ride to woodlands. best expressed in the words of william blake.

ETERNITY

He who binds to himself a joy
Does the winged life destroy;
But he who kisses the joy as it flies
Lives in eternity's sunrise.

oh how true. another beautiful poem,

Love seeketh not itself to please,
nor for itself hath any care,
but for another gives its ease,
and builds a Heaven in Hell's despair.

how poetry represents the words beyond the words.