[valentine's day]

the counter turns 4 months today :)

consciously went to check back my blog archives on wad i was feeling this time of the year in the past years.
2005 - basically i was in army. just had field camp. had lotsa deep thoughts going on about love. my problems with passing ippt and their implications on my dream of going to command school.

a mysterious, yet familiar post...

Friday, February 11, 2005

{hmmm........}

wise men say,
only fools rush in
but i can't help
falling in love
with you

of course we all know who that meant. or maybe i could have said it in jest. but that was a time when all i had to hold was a dream that was never there. something's always better than facing the bleakness of the void.

another excerpt

i'll have to agreed with the song, the heart is definitely no mirror so that new faces come and go. each time a new face fills it, when that face has to go, it leaves behind a mark. u can't just reformat harddrive. and how do we move on from there? do we just find a new face to fill the void left by the other? i just can't keep doing this...

i tell myself its just something that happens at this age, but i guess we'll have to contend with it for the rest of our lives. at least songs give me some solace.

give me strength to surmount all difficulties. steel my heart, and guard it well.

let's go back yet another year. february 2004. i'm in rjc. year 2. these were the times i blogged all the time! everyday also must blog.

hmmm. isn't it interesting that there's a QUIT in the word unreQUITed? hmmm. i get the drift.can't wait to flip the pages of my life to the next chapter. however, struggling whether or not to move on.

same sentiment. gosh u've felt the same way for about a year. congratz man! u should have celebrated the anniversary of u feeling crappy.

on valentine's day itself, i just put the lyrics of Back at one by Brian Mcknight.

next day, comes this, my attempts to explain wad happened in the stealthiest of manner

haha. had a swell valentine's day. i guess in some contorted way, it had all the elements of the ideal valentine's day.

let's see, ideal valentine's day. wad are the ingredients? a quiet moment with your loved one, just you and her, without the rest of your life bearing down on you. something simple, meaningful, poignant and reflective. a quick exchange of looks, a reassurance that we'll always be there for each other?

two days more to valentine's day.

i read the newspapers and their extensive coverage of this "hot" event. in general, i've this impression that journalists are spiteful ppl. they write witty reviews of movies, and condemn simple, happy movies as being infantile. valentine's day is a mockery, a waste of money, the works. well, qualification needs to be made. i meant the journalists they let cover the event. those in love would have been too busy daydreaming.

as for me, wad could i possibly want? wad does v.day mean to me now? i guess in a way, deep inside, i wish for all the things i never got to do. all the things i wished for but never got. change the word unrequited to mutual, two way sorta thing.

that tingling feeling.