[ moms and girlfriends ]

hahah guys out there! though i guess deep inside we do look for some semblance of our moms in our partners, but i guess u can't expect them to just be like mom.

some elaboration. our moms, some of them stay at home as housewives. dun expect yours to also be a housewife, u'll end up as the house husband.

come to think of it... u see our dads practically did the same things that we will do. but i guess for girls, alot of them end up doing things that their mums never did.

though all this is definitely subjective. lotsa working mums out there too, like mine.

its interesting how life would be in the future, let's say if we all got married. somehow i'm guessing life won't be the same as it is with our families now.

just another lesson i've learnt! haha

[ so why am i angry? ]

someone just got the brunt of my anger.

somehow i'm angry for someone for changing the course of my life. i'm wondering if i'm really doing what i really like. will i go as far as the rest, who may be motivated be a lifelong dream. for me, all i'm doing is making the best of what i can.

in my past, the only thing i've done that i really like was scouts. and hell yeah, i did it to the best of my abilities, guess i surpassed others, people who may not have felt for it as much as i did.

its strange, life.

isn't it weird how after being pushed down the path alot of the time, where decisions are made by others, some familiar faces, some unfathomable, we sometimes get those rare chances to make a stand about our life?

i guess these are the chances that we get to show what we truly are made of.

i hope i get to make the choices for the rest of my life.

i guess that's all i could wish for, at this point of time. at least even if it went wrong i'd only have myself to blame. not put it on someone else, as i've just been doing.

argh.

well, there's still that future out there that's still supposedly in our hands.

[ another one ]

that day i dreamt i failed anat pros.

another day, i was in WW2. fighting the japs/germans. but in singapore. battlefield 1942 like feeling. swimming to aircraft carrier. meeting with mum who was leaving country. told me she'll contact me via email. i rejoice and hug my platoon best. hiding in apartments like in the pianist.

and guess wad song i just randomly played.

s club - never had a dream come true.

its the coincidences that's scary.

[ jailed ]

okay. just had this dream.

scene1 :travelling in some train. late at night. it feels abit like woodlands, but also like CCK (where i used to go for army... hmmm) somehow on the platform i meet my brother, but i'm not supposed to see him there. he's not supposed to see me too so i just walk without him seeing. i guess he sees but he too doesn't want to act like he knows i'm there.

scene 2: jail. suddenly i'm in a cell. true to matrix. the walls are clinically white. nothing in this cell at all. can't send letters to loved ones. really NOTHING to do. and i had to spend like 3 years i think. thought of no contact with outside world with nothing to do really makes me so sad and depressed.

just remembered how i escape. somehow i gain superpowers. like assimilate other ppl's powers. some weird shit. my frens in jail lend me their powers to let me escape.

scene 3: the escape?2 somehow i'm at springleaf. on foot and on the way back. though i know i escaped. suddenly i see cops. (singaporean cops btw). then their radio starts buzzing. about some indian guy who escaped. i musingly tell them its not me. they just complain about their inmates and let me go.

scene 4: as i enter my house, policemen tell the neighbour next door. somehow he's indian too? that they'll definitely catch the crook someday. i spend i few days enjoying the simple pleasures that i lost in jail.

scene 5: i wake up in my room. amidst the usual police sounds, its like an evening. that jobweek feeling... twilight time. i simply walk out of the house. police are like acting as if i'm holding a weapon. my policeman catches me, and says this time he'll make life worse for me.

[yoz]

haven't posted in awhile.

muggingggggggg...

all the best to everyone!

can't wait for year 2, then year 3! wards!!!

[my genetic fitness!]

hahah in my search to understand lecture notes on genetic fitness, did this test on your own genetic fitness evaluated...

http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=6936188936100731841

and here's my results,


142,300 descendants- you're more genetically fit than 47% of the current population -

142,300. Not bad. You're no Mongol warlord, but to have that many copies of your genetic code running around 800 years from now is pretty impressive. You're at the lower end of the scoring spectrum, but, honestly, when you consider that the cheaters, swindlers, and football players of this world are statistically best-equipped to create children, scoring low is something to be proud of. As you'll see below, some of your lines will die out, but nonetheless your genetic material will thrive here on earth for a long time to come. A close friend of mine created a program to generate family trees for this test. It's based on your unique answers. We accounted for sterility, birth rates, death rates, disease, drug abuse, nitwitism, and accidents and came up with this, for you:

[clarity]

somehow, finally the unexplained traumatise-ness has dissipated. dunno where it went, maybe it just decided to take a canteen break after tormenting me for so long. please dun come back! run away you! i spurn thee like a cur out of my way!

so let's see.

there's one big WIDELY OPEN future out there with countless possibilities!

once again.

can't wait for hols.

things i wanna do (in case i forget over the course of exams or am filling with stonyness after exams)

(10 items on list)

woah. quite a busy chap ah u...

all the best to myself and all u chaps out there!

help help the sky's falling

:)

[the unproductive yet decision making day!]

din study much. signed up for driving lessons. booked them today. thennnn. booked hall stuff today too.

yups. future's looking alot more interesting!

driving.

halling = time saved on travelling and hopefully not wasted on other things

=)

[learning to listen to only one voice]

sometimes isn't it so pleasurable to just listen to a song? when u're not doing anything else. just u and the music. how nice.

i guess this concept holds truth for our lives as well. imagine if in your life you have to listen to so many songs sung by so many ppl at the same time? will it still be nice?

lesson for today. one song at a time.

and yes, its mainly going to be my song.

i've always tried to factor in what others say in my life, but sometimes it causes so much turmoil it just isn't worth it.

one again. i find myself taking another step to a place and situation i dun wanna reach.

and sadly, its nobody's fault.

[get out]

this is reminder to myself whenever i see this to immediately off computer and go mug.

this world has enough for words, for now.

get working u.

[what you guys thought of me]

a huge THANKS with a heartfelt smile to everyone who took time to do the thing. here's the results, as of 1942 hrs 19/03/2006

won't it be cool to do this again like maybe in 5 years, see if things change...

Arena (known to self and others) caring, dependable, logical, reflective, searching	Blind Spot (known only to others) able, accepting, adaptable, cheerful, complex, dignified, friendly, giving, idealistic, independent, intelligent, loving, mature, observant, organised, relaxed, self-conscious, sensible, sentimental, silly, trustworthy, warm, wise
Façade (known only to self)	Unknown (known to nobody) bold, brave, calm, clever, confident, energetic, extroverted, happy, helpful, ingenious, introverted, kind, knowledgeable, modest, nervous, patient, powerful, proud, quiet, religious, responsive, self-assertive, shy, spontaneous, sympathetic, tense, witty

Dominant Traits

66% of people agree that mogilan is reflective

All Percentages

able (22%) accepting (11%) adaptable (11%) bold (0%) brave (0%) calm (0%) caring (11%) cheerful (11%) clever (0%) complex (44%) confident (0%) dependable (33%) dignified (11%) energetic (0%) extroverted (0%) friendly (33%) giving (11%) happy (0%) helpful (0%) idealistic (33%) independent (11%) ingenious (0%) intelligent (33%) introverted (0%) kind (0%) knowledgeable (0%) logical (11%) loving (11%) mature (11%) modest (0%) nervous (0%) observant (11%) organised (11%) patient (0%) powerful (0%) proud (0%) quiet (0%) reflective (66%) relaxed (11%) religious (0%) responsive (0%) searching (22%) self-assertive (0%) self-conscious (11%) sensible (11%) sentimental (22%) shy (0%) silly (11%) spontaneous (0%) sympathetic (0%) tense (0%) trustworthy (11%) warm (33%) wise (11%) witty (0%)